This is a pretty big post for me. And not one that’s easy to write, because I honestly fear some backlash from the blogging community once I hit publish. But I just can’t sit by anymore and accept things as they come.
No, I’m not quitting blogging. Not by a long shot, but I have to quit the blogging “thing”. If you’re not a blogger, indulge me for a moment while I explain what I mean.
Bloggers are very focused on “numbers”. Everything is a number. Pageviews. Unique visitors. Followers on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, blah blah blah. Why are they so important? Basically, if you ain’t got ’em. YOU DON’T MATTER.
Harsh reality to say the least. Without precious “numbers” you don’t get sponsors, you don’t get ads, you don’t get attention. Nothing. And that means you don’t get paid. No numbers? No money.
I started blogging because I loved writing. Loved. For you grammar nazis out there, you’ll note the past tense. I loved writing. Now? I cringe at the thought.
“Is this going to get numbers?”
“Will it get featured?”
“Will this be the big one? Will it go viral and get me some decent numbers??”
If I’m honest, I hate it. I love writing, I hate playing the game. Hate. It.
You know what else I hate? Seeing bloggers write sponsored posts they probably don’t give two craps about just to get paid. When you are a craft/DIY blogger and already thin don’t write about diet shakes. What does that say to your reader? It *screams* disingenuous. No really. Really.
If I’m honest? (And this post is all about brutal honesty. Honestly.) All these “numbers” make me feel like crap about myself. The constant rejection because I lack the magic number, just sucks. Maybe some other chicks out there can handle it, but not this girl. I’m extremely hard on myself when I’m not successful, and in terms of the blogging world, I’m just not. It is painfully evident that I’m not. Like, in your face “you suck!” evident on a daily basis.
I just can’t play the game. I refuse to sell things to my readers just because I can get paid. I refuse to pretend to like or need something for the sole purpose of a number, or four numbers, or fifty numbers. It’s fake and stupid.
There, I said it. It’s just stupid.
Does that mean I wouldn’t want to land a sponsored post if I could? Nope. But it has to be real. And not daily. At that point, you aren’t a writer, you are a used car salesman.
Yes, I want sponsored posts, but I want to be honest and real. And I don’t want to write solely for other people.
So, I quit.
I just can’t play that game anymore and retain my sanity. I can’t be focused so much on what my numbers look like (and frankly, I hate seeing people complain about their “numbers” when mine are insanely low in comparison). I can’t place my worth in an algorithm or set of statistics.
Sure, I know some will read this and just call me jealous and bitchy. I’m not. (Not that by saying that I’ll convince anyone – but it’s the truth.) If you’re successful and love being on that bandwagon, great. But as for me? I’m hopping off at the next stop.
From now on, I’m going to write what I want, when I want, and not worry about what that means in terms of numbers and the blogging world. Comparison just saps whatever worth and energy I have and frankly, I’m not willing to sacrifice that. I’m ready to get back to loving my writing and feeling that what I have to say is worth something. Because it is. And numbers aren’t going to change that.