Let’s talk about negative press, “hit” pieces, and hateful comment sections. I made the comment recently that you should never read the comments section (of pretty much anything these days) – and I firmly believe that.
That said, yes, I sometimes get caught up in it too. It happens. And as an enneagram 4w3, I have OPINIONS.
But look, we’re never going to change people’s minds by snapping back at them. You will never bring people to your side of an issue by being snarky, or engaging them in an already emotionally charged arena. It just won’t happen.
SPAM them Instead
Instead, as a squad, let’s do this –
Yes, I realize that says SPAM
Stop – Before you jump to response, stop, and take a deep breath.
Pray – Pray for them instead. Pray that their eyes will be opened to new ways of thinking. Pray that we can all find common ground even when it seems like we are all on different sides right now. Pray that they are BLESSED. Yes, I know that last one is hard. But I’ve learned that it can change how you feel about someone who is intent on hurting you. (It’s how I’ve lived through my divorce.)
Acknowledge – If the comment section on YOUR personal post gets heated, say something like, “I hear you. We will have to agree to disagree.” or “We may not agree on this, and that’s OK.” Even if you don’t agree with their opinion, we have the freedom to disagree and that is OK – we can’t win over everyone.
And then, and I know this is hard – MOVE ON – don’t engage in vitriol, don’t engage in hurtful name-calling, and don’t allow it in your personal space. I speak from experience here. Yes, this is TOUGH, especially when the “other side” is your family. I’m not telling you not to have a healthy conversation that just happens to have different opinions. I’m talking about straight-up rudeness. Just because someone invites you to their drama does not mean you have to attend. Show them love anyway and then decline to converse further. Yes, this will likely upset them. Hurting people hurt people. That happens. Get your catch-phrase ready, “I can tell you have strong feelings about this, and while I disagree, I still love you and wish you the best.” And then walk away from the discussion. You *might* be surprised to find that once they’ve calmed down you showing them love during a difficult time has made things easier for the *next* conversation.
So friends, SPAM them with love and level-headedness. That’s our “thing”. And love wins, every. single. time.
Yes!!!! Love this. And I am going to be quoting this all the time now – “Just because someone invites you to their drama does not mean you have to attend.” (plus, being from Hawai’i, we love SPAM 😉 )
I’m so glad this resonated with you Susan! You know how much I love Spam too.