Disclaimer: I know that today’s post is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I’m fine with that. I respect your right to a different belief system or lack thereof. Really. No judgement from me. If you do choose to comment (which I would LOVE), I just ask that you be respectful and remember that this is me, sharing a very personal side of myself. Be kind.
I never, ever write about my faith. Why? I don’t know. It seems really personal. It’s definitely controversial. There is nothing simple about my faith. And yet, here I am – writing. All thanks to the She Reads Truth community (and my good friend Eva). I hope this goes well.
Oddly, that’s the entire focus of this post. Hope. For the last two weeks I’ve been participating in a She Reads Truth bible study on the book of Ruth. If I’m honest, I wasn’t sure I’d keep up with it. But I did. And I’m better off because of it.
The book of Ruth is full of hope – something I sorely lack a lot of the time. Oh, I hope for things, sure.
- I hope (sometimes it seems futile) to become a mama.
- I hope to feel successful again some day.
- I hope this blog takes off at some point.
- I hope that I am a good wife.
But hoping for things and being filled with hope – well, that’s two different things, isn’t it?
I can’t say for sure, but Ruth seemed pretty full of hope. She never appeared to doubt or fret. (Though she’s human so a part of me thinks she must’ve at some point. We all do.) She was full of hope when she left her family to stay with her mother-in-law. (Do you love your MIL that much?) She was full of hope when she met Boaz and her mother-in-law, Naomi decided to play matchmaker. So full, in fact, she was willing to risk total humiliation just for a chance at a new marriage and a life she never thought she’d have when her first husband died! She was full of hope when Boaz had to follow their customs and ask a man she’d never even met if he wanted to marry Ruth instead. (Y’all, I just couldn’t have held out hope there. That’s so not me. I’d have been convinced I was going to end up Mrs. Strange Dude.)
She kept the faith – even when she must’ve wanted to turn back. She was most definitely a stronger woman than me! What about you?
I think the most baffling part of this whole thing is that she was able to just wait on God, full of hope for better things.
“Sit still (wait), my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out…” Ruth 3:18
Sit still? Are you crazy? I can’t sit still for any reason (thanks anxiety!), but for big things like Ruth was so hope filled and waiting for? YEAH RIGHT!
And yet, here I am two weeks in to this study and which verse out of this entire book keeps popping up? Yeah…the one about sitting still and waiting for God.
Me: “I want to be a good wife and a mama, Lord.”
God: “Sit still, and wait.”
Me: “I want to feel successful, Lord.”
God: “Um, sit still and wait.”
Me: “Could you just help me out with this blogging thing, Lord?”
God: *sigh* “SIT STILL AND WAIT”
So I sit (somewhat still, it’s a new skill…takes practice) and wait. And I work on being filled with hope and not just hopeful for things.
Tough job, huh?
I know this though:
“And now, Lord, what do I wait for and expect? My hope and expectation are in You.” – Psalm 39:7
What about you? Are you like me, working on being filled with hope? It’s hard, I know. But I have to remind myself that I am not ruled by my circumstances. I can be filled with hope even when I feel lacking. We both can.